Protein Week

Oh, the fatigue! It seems to come and go, and I'm struggling to figure out the pattern behind all of it, if there is one. Sisar Schellenberg has been keeping a list of possible causes (she loves lists- one of the reasons I like her), and we're still scratching our heads a little. I don't know how I made it through church yesterday, especially since it's back to the normal 3-hour block, which is a lot longer than Lappeenranta's 2 hours. I've taken a few naps to get by, but it never seems to completely go away. We had a few procedural questions for President Watson last night, and I took the opportunity to fill him in on my physical status. He asked about my diet, and then suggested that I eat more meat and get more protein to keep myself going. Having just recently served with a vegetarian, it almost seemed strange for somebody to actually advise me to consume animals, but I do love a good piece of beef, and so today at the store we bought beans, peanut butter, sausage, ground beef, and even some protein powder in a big bag. It is protein week in Herttoniemi, and we are going all-out. My nothing-if-not-organized toveri even re-arranged one of our cupboards last night, and designated it as Sisar Hansen's easy-to-reach protein shelf. There's a can of tuna, some nuts, sunflower seeds, and miscellaneous left overs from the last sisters that lived here. We finally got around last night to baking the chicken we'd bought last week, and I only snoozed through the last 10 minutes of language study today, so there could be something to this. I've got a protein powder-laced smoothie in my water bottle for on-the-go snacking as we go to our appointments today. We are not doing this by halves, no sir!

As I mentioned in my last post, last Friday was mission conference with Elder Bendar! He and Elder Ballard had been touring around Europe, and we were blessed to have some time with an apostle, just us missionaries. Another highlight of the conference was seeing mission friends. As we walked from the train station to the Haaga chapel, I was suddenly seized from behind in a death-grip disguised as a hug. It was such a startle, that I punched myself right in the face! My crankiness over the face-punching lasted just a couple of seconds, because how can I be upset at SISAR NYMAN?? I was giddy to see her, and even more excited that since she's now in Lappeenranta, we'll see each other again at zone meetings. One person who I, unfortunately, do not get to see at such meetings, is the incomparable Sisar Dayton. As we approached the doors of the chapel, my heart leaped in my chest a bit, and I thought, "It's HER!!" Serving with her has been one of the highlights of my entire mission, and I hugged her until I thought my arms would fall off. I got to chit-chat with sisters serving in my old areas, and one of the sisters now serving in Lahti told me that a certain maaaaan who Sisar Daytooooon and I would sometimes meeeeet on the buuuuuuuuuuuus asked her if she knew Sisar Hansen! Ahhhh!!! I don't know if you remember me mentioning him in one of my posts from way back in May(?) but it's good to hear that I've made an impression on somebody who's also made an impression on me. :) At the end, we arranged ourselves by height, of course taking more time than we anticipated, to take a mission photo. I'll look forward to seeing that one.

As for the conference itself, we've had a lot of members ask us what Elder Bednar said to us. One of the best parts was the first thing that came out of his mouth: "It's easy to tell that you have prepared." Too many would-be spiritual experiences are blocked off by lack of preparation. We'd read talks, prayed, and asked questions throughout the mission to prepare for this event, and it all paid off. We had what turned out to be a question-and-answer session with an apostle. He asked us what we'd learned from our preparations, and then we had time to ask him questions. The Spirit was undeniably strong, and I very early on found a good answer to the question I'd been prompted to write down as we quietly waited for our guest speakers to enter the chapel. From that answer, I got a lot of follow-up answers, some to questions I didn't even know I'd had! One thing that was stressed to us in the beginning was the importance of proper note-taking. Instead of writing down what he said, the rule was to write down what we heard- what the Spirit communicated to us. That rule was a game-changer that allowed us all to receive personally tailored revelation from the conference. I walked away feeling lighter than a feather. I hope the same goes as Sisar Schellenberg and I take our saved-up P-Day time to go to the temple this week. As tired as I am, the temple is sure to be a welcomed refuge and place of rest.

I continue to enjoy the work here in the Marjaniemi ward. The people are wonderful, even when we get lost/lose our phone and can't show up, or explain why we can't show up! But we've been given opportunities to serve, and I've had opportunities to use my French powers for good! Not only do we have a French investigator, but on TWO separate contacting occasions, I was straight-up asked if I speak French, to which I gladly replied, "Oui!" Maybe that's one reason why I've been called to serve here.....

Last week was a dream week. I pray that the spirit of that week will continue with me for the rest of my mission, and even beyond. I'd invite you, as General Conference draws near, to ponder how you can prepare to receive and record revelation during that special time.

Jumalan Siunasta teille!

Rakkaudella,

Sisar Hansen

Greetings, from Berry Point

"Berry Point" is the rough translation of Marjaniemi. We're located in the eastern portion of Helsinki, which is beautiful and fairly peaceful. It's a big departure from Lappeenranta- There it might take well over an hour to cross from one end of our area to the other by car, and our entire area here spans 3 metro stops! Sisar S and I are getting used to things, and despite some stress on the first couple days, a completely new perspective on things is refreshing and invigorating. We're almost constantly lost, and we have to make a lot of, "So, we thought we knew where we were going, but now we're lost and we'll be a bit late" phone calls. Our goals for this week include learning how to get around more efficiently, and arrive places on time. Good goals, I would say.

We had a supplementary stake conference yesterday in lieu of normal church. It was a bit surreal to get up and just get on the public transport to the Helsinki center, rather than arrange a ride with a member from 3 hours away. Although it's only been a week, I was thrilled to see familiar faces from Lappeenranta. The Relief Society president and her family were there, and they had my favorite chocolate in-hand, ready to give me. I got to see missionary friends from around the zone. I lost track of the amount of hugs Joy and I exchanged before and after the conference. I love her more than I can possibly say, and I'm thankful every day that she's been part of my experiences here in Finland. She said that she misses me already, and my favorite part, when she thinks of me, it makes her want to be a missionary. I got a bit emotional at that one, must admit. One lovely surprise is that my favorite member from Lahti just so happened to be there, although Lahti is in the Tampere stake. When I saw her post-conference and she saw me, I started jumping up and down, and gave her an enormous hug. She is so wonderful! Sisar S was trained in Lahti, so we both enjoyed chatting and catching up with our former area. I didn't want to make a big deal of leaving Lappeenranta, and I didn't want to take the focus of church last week away from Christ in order to proclaim my imminent departure, so when I informed one of the Lappeenranta ward members that we actually don't need a ride home because I live in Helsinki now, he was a bit surprised, and then I pointed him in the direction of Sisar N and her new toveri. President and Sisar Watson were in attendance, and I got to spend a brief moment chatting with each of them. He's glad that I'm excited about my new assignment, and as we were standing close to Joy, he pointed at her and whispered to me, "That is what this is all about. For all of eternity. Treasure it." He's right, and I do. And not just Joy, but the other wonderful people I've been blessed to serve with in Finland.

I've had renewed energy this past week. I still struggle to feel rested, even though I sleep through the night. But I've been dealing with fatigue much better lately. I can be 100% completely open with Sisar S, and so when I say that I'm getting really sleepy and a bit cranky, and we probably need to wrap up planning in a timely manner, she understands, and we get the night's tasks done in a quick and orderly manner so I can collapse into bed. I feel like things like praying always, being exactly obedient, following counsel from leaders, etc, has been so easy the past few days. My new toveri has been a huge influence for good in my life, and it doesn't even feel like work much of the time. She's a talented teacher, and has a good head on her shoulders. She's good at identifying peoples' needs and thinking of how we can serve them. When I got my change call to come here, Sisar N, who served in the other Marjaniemi area for a full YEAR, got really excited and told me that in my new area is an investigator from....wait for it.....LA FRANCE!!! We've met with "Camille" a couple times now, and she is absolutely lovely. We've exchanged some texts in French, and she parler-ed with me when we got lost trying to find her place and we called for directions. Her children speak a mixture of French and Finnish, which J'ADORE. 

I've heard say that it's difficult to talk to people in Helsinki. I thought that I didn't really want to ever serve here, because I've never lived in a big city before, and I don't know how I'd like it. Well, Helsinki isn't actually so very big itself, metro contacting is less intimidating to me than street contacting, and we've been stopped by FINNS more than a couple times now, offering to give us directions places as we look through our map books on the sidewalk. This is a fun place. It's also fun to serve with other fantastic missionaries. Sisar Knapp from my MTC group is Fresh from Oulu this week, and her toveri is bright and hilarious. It was wonderful to chat with them for a bit as we got everyone situated in their new apartments. Sisar Knapp and I could gush for hours about how much we love Oulu, if we had the time. She's so honest and sincere, and a wonderful missionary, and it's a pleasure to serve near her. It's also good to have people to ask questions to about the area when we need some extra help. On a funny note, Siasr S and I decided that we want to make a big batch of borscht this week so that we can have a quick and easy lunch option. We gathered all of the ingredients at the grocery store this morning. As we arrived at the chapel to send our emails, we get a call from the other sisaret, walking through the grocery store, asking us what ingredients they need for borscht!

Things are looking up here in Berry Point. I love my new ward, my new companion, my new apartment, and my new area. My toveri speaks fantastic Finnish, and is a wonderful example of someone who simply wants to be the best follower of Christ that she can be. I'll have the opportunity to visit the temple once this transfer, since it's so close. I'm unable to fully absorb the love that Heavenly Father lets me feel for the people of Finland. As a missionary, that's probably the best part- a keen awareness of just how much Heavenly Father loves His children. The other best part is seeing them make a connection with Him and act in ways that will bring them closer to His presence. I look forward to another week here, hopefully a week where we arrive places on time, especially to our long-anticipated mission conference with David A. Bednar this Friday.

I had an impression a week or two ago to photocopy my mission call and place a mini version on one of the front pages of my copy of Preach My Gospel. Opening my mission call letter was one of the most profound experiences of my life, and there have been times of darkness on my mission where I felt like I couldn't go on, only to re-read my letter, and re-visit that sacred moment of opening my call to serve in the Finland Helsinki mission. It's a reminder to me of my purpose, which is to "invite others to come unto Christ". I still have moments where I look at that piece of paper and think, "Is this real? Is this MY life?" and I'm overjoyed to realize that yes, this is. Somehow, this is where the Lord has decided that this is where I need to be, at this time, with these people, and I thank Him every day for His wise purposes that I try to fulfill. 

The church is true! Riemuitsekaa! Happy to be calling out the invitation here in Berry Point.

Rakkaudella,

Sisar Hansen

Joy and me at conference

Sister Schellenberg and I being girly and deep-cleaning our pores
(the only photo we have together so far) 

Shotgun Sisar

Some missionaries seem to have a pattern established in their mission. Some missionaries are involved in leadership from early on until the end of their service. Some missionaries train early and often. Some missionaries stay in one area for long stretches of time. I am shotgun sisar.

In Finland Helsinki missionary terms, "to shotgun" is a verb meaning to transfer to a new area with a companion who is also new to the area, aka, you are both clueless and have to just jump in and go from there. When I left my first area, Oulu, my companion also left at the same time. Coming to Lappeenranta, Sisar Heggie and I replaced the elders previously serving here. Tomorrow, Sisar Schellenberg and I will "shotgun" the Huttiniemi area of Marjaniemi, part of Helsinki. It's a position I'm excited to be in, as shotgunning is an excellent way to get to know a new area quickly and efficiently, and there will be no pre-existing area prejudices or opinions to get in our way, as often happens when one missionary stays, intentional or not. Sisar N served in the other Marjaniemi area for a full YEAR before transferring out to Lappeenranta, and she's been telling me all transfer, that she thinks I might serve there some day. It'll be an interesting switch from a small, isolated, one-companionship town to a suburb of the largest city in the country, in the same ward as who-knows-how many other missionaries, including the assistants to the president. I also know next-to-nothing about my new companion, except that she came in the group before me, so there will be a lot of new things in a short period of time. Good. I like to change things up and refresh the energy. I also like to learn from different people in different places. When we tell investigators and other friends about transfers, and answer the questions, "But why are you leaving? Why did so-and-so-missionary leave? Why sisters when there used to be those two boys?" etc, it often seems strange and a bit confusing, but I love transfers. It shows me that God is in control, and that He knows where we need to be, with whom, and when. It helps old areas receive new perspective, and it even brings new life to some areas that are struggling for breath. I've gotten so efficient at packing, that I did 90% of my packing within an hour or so, and except for a few small items, I'm ready to get going tomorrow afternoon.

We've seen some good things in my soon-to-be-former area this week. We've gotten in touch with some potential investigators who have been elusive as of late. We've run into some old familiar faces, and had some good chats with recently-returning students. We have one investigator who absolutely LOVES our banana chocolate chunk cookies. Last night we invited him to our church building, and had flour, eggs, bananas, chocolate, and all of the ingredients for cookies ready to go, and we made cookies together, giving a church tour as they baked in the oven. It was his first time in a church. Ever. In his life. His religious background is quite a bit different than ours, so he has a lot of good questions, and brings a new perspective to our meetings. I've enjoyed all of our meetings together, and it was good to have a fun time with him and show him how we worship the Lord and learn together through church. The cookies were delicious, and the atmosphere was easy-going and open. Not exactly knocking on doors. I like this kind of missionary work.

We also had a wonderful lesson with a part-member family in our ward. The husband of this family has been learning about the church for a long time, and his wife has told us on many occasions that he knows this is true and wants to be baptized. We're not sure what holds him back, but we enjoy visiting and sharing our thoughts with him. We can be especially bold with him. Last time, I straight-up asked, "What can we do to help you prepare to be baptized?" This time we felt impressed to talk about the Plan of Salvation, and it segued into a very emotional and powerful discussion about temples. We got the okay for missionaries to come visit once per week (they live a bit far away), and he is finally our official investigator!

In other transfer news, my thrift store watch gave up the ghost a little while back, and I've felt unnaturally unprotected as I walk the streets of Lappeenranta without knowing what time it is from a glance at my wrist. I've been wondering to myself how I want to solve this problem- Do I risk another thrift store purchase, or buy a durable-but-expensive replacement? As a joke during one district meeting, I asked if anybody knew who might have a spare watch lying around, and my district leader said, "Oh! I have one you can use! But it's in Oulu. I gave it to another sisar to use when we were serving in Kuopio, and she left it in Oulu during exchanges there. If you can get it, you can use it." Promising, although a bit complicated. Well, with the upcoming changes this week, I found out that Sisar Knapp from my MTC group, currently in Oulu, is coming down to the other Marjaniemi sisaret area, and can bring the watch (thankfully still sitting around) for me to use! Blessings! Although I look forward to the day when I'll be a "for realsies" adult and have my own things and not feel like I'm living from short-term to short-term, mission life and all of its switching around places, clothes, companions, etc is kind of fun. My wardrobe now consists of a mixture of home-brought, former-companion-discarded, and kirpis-purchased items, and every transfer we get an email announcing that a departing missionary has left behind a bike if anyone wants it. I'm wearing Sisar Heggie's old shirt at the very moment, as I type this email!

Well, that's the news for this week. There will obviously be a bit more next week, after I've spent a few days in my new area. Best wishes from Finland for health and happiness!

Rakkaudella,

Sisar Hansen

As Time Goes By

Last week I received an email from my parents about the adventurous week they had when my sister and her family came to visit for a few days. As I looked at photos of my younger niece, I thought to myself, "Wow! This girl is so grown up! Hey- her birthday is this week, isn't it? Wow, one year already!" And then it hit me again- my niece was born on my second day at the MTC. As of the 21st of this month, which was last week, I have been a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for a full YEAR. 

It often feels like my experiences from the MTC were in some alternate universe that had little, if anything to do with my mission, although it was the indispensable first step in my preparations to serve Suomessa. Even looking back to my time in Oulu, it seems like what I'm doing now is on some sort of different wavelength from life back then. Time is a weird thing, and it will never cease being weird to me.

I've served in 3 areas in Finland so far, not counting the MTC (change calls this week might change that number), with 5 companions, counting the MTC. 3 of those companions have been non-Americans, and I've only served with ONE companion from Utah. I've learned my 3rd language, and started learning a 4th. I've had 6 district leaders in the field. I've attended 2 convert baptisms, one of them being somebody I taught. I've taken hundreds of pictures, baked hundreds of cookies, biked hundreds of miles, and spent hundreds of hours reading the scriptures.

I have just 3 transfers left before "normal civilian life" comes back at me with full force. Preach My Gospel chapter 8 is a reminder about how precious time is, and how we need to use it well. I know I haven't used all of my mission time to the fullest, but I'm thankful for this brief moment to live in such a way that I am always out doing the Lord's work, in His name. Some missionaries don't like to count the time that goes by, for whatever reasons. Some missionaries spend their service in denial of time's passage. I've known from the start that full-time missionary service is just a small phase-within-the-phase-of-mortality, and that doesn't bother me. I want to be a true and dedicated servant of the Lord as I wear His name on a badge, and when it's time to take that badge off my chest, I'll continue to serve Him in important and exciting ways. This full-time service is not the one-and-only thing worth doing in this life, but I know that it is the best thing I can possibly be doing right now, and it will influence the rest of my existence as I go about doing other worthy things throughout time, and throughout eternity,

This Church is true. It gives us the opportunity to see things as they really are, and discern those things that are fleeting and subject to erosion and decay, from those things that are eternal in nature and in consequence. I am thankful for those eternal things that keep away the sorrows of mortality. I am thankful to know that I am made of the things of eternity, and that I can find joy forever through the small moments of this mortal life. I invite you all to take a moment to reflect upon your lives, and to find a way to fill the time with those things that will matter most in the eternal long-run. 

Rakkaudella,

Sisar Hansen

Note from Karlan's Mom

Hi everyone--

No blog from Karlan this week.

She did tell her Dad and me that Joy had the opportunity to attend the temple in Helsinki with the YSA group from her ward, and loved it.  

Transfers are coming right up, which for many missionaries prompts feelings of excitement and anticipation. Kar loves Lappeenranta, but would love the opportunity to serve in another area.  This Thursday is her mission one-year mark.

Thank you everyone who has been supportive of our girl.

Vicki H.

Joy

Last week's post was all about opposition. This week's post, in many ways, is all about joy.

It was a long week, full of anticipation and even some uncertainty. We found out Sunday at church that our planned lake baptismal location wouldn't work out, after all. Ah, well, a baptism at the chapel is still a baptism. Joy was very accepting, although a lake baptism was her dream. We still had a lot of work to do, including putting a program together, arranging for refreshments, and the big pre-baptismal interview.

Monday night we decided to do a family home evening with Brigitte, Joy, and the new YSA who just moved into the ward about a month ago. It was a hit! Even though Joy doesn't speak Finnish, and Brigitte doesn't speak English, they hit it off, and were fast friends. Even better was our Finnish friend- Brigitte went right into telling her everything- her life story, her testimony, how much she likes the dessert she bought for us. She was so happy to have a party at her house, and thrilled to meet some new friends from church.

Tuesday night we had a dinner with our relief society president and her family. Her husband is practically what we might call a "dry Mormon", in that he has a strong testimony, but has yet to be baptized for his own reasons. Dinner was delicious, and when we taught our lesson, it was go-bold-or-go-home time. "So, how can we help you to prepare to be baptized?" No direct answer, but our RS president said during the ride home that perhaps we should come over more often. After our lesson, she took us out to the shore of the small lake right outside her apartment building. "You know, I've been out here at least 10 times recently, and I've only ever seen one other person." We all exchanged looks at each other. Could this be our spot for Saturday?? We decided to pray about it and report back.

Wednesday was zone meeting. Good to see friendly, familiar faces, and afterwards we had enough time before our train to take a mini-tour of downtown Helsinki. Sisar N, of course, knows all about it. We even taught a few lessons on the street in the process! Afterwards we had time to meet with Joy- we met with her every day last week because it's such a critical time. We shared scriptures, contacted potentials, even watched a short film about Joseph Smith with one of the YSA. This girl is prepared.

Thursday was the day of the big interview. President Watson decided that he wanted to do this one, and he and Sisar Watson arrived all the way from Helsinki! We arrived at the church fresh from contacting potentials and grabbing come celebratory ice cream. The interview went by with flying colors! President Watson held personal interviews with both Sisar N and I afterwards, and spent most of the time talking about how amazing Joy is. He was blow away. Of course, he was. How could he not be? Also, we had a talk about the literally-bigger-than-my-face bug bite on my leg! If it got any worse, i'd have to head over the emergency room! GULP!

Friday was exchanges day with the sister training leaders in Espoo. I was with SIsar Nielsen for the day, but they came the night before, so I got some good giggly-girl time with my dear Sisar Heggie. (She snuck my favorite Tutti Frutti under my pillow, and I slept on it before I realized it was there, and then ate it all in one go, of course!) For the first time in months, I was on a bike all day. We use bikes here in Lappeenranta, but never for so long at once. It was a fun change. I enjoyed getting to know my temporary toveri better. We found some solid potentials in a less-frequented area. We taught tons of lessons on the street. The catch- the theme of our exchange seemed to be half-naked-less-actives-answering-the-door-be-they-men-or-women! WHY do Finns ALWAYS answer the door??!! After we saw our Espoo friends off to the train, it was time for floor hockey. I get better every week. It's now something I look forward to every week. A good way to get some of that pre-baptism energy out.

Saturday was the big day! We awoke and got ready early. Our ride came at EIGHT in the morning, and we headed out to the lake. We kept our location a secret from Joy, as a present to her. We picked her and Gabe, who was to baptize her, and were on our way. We distracted Joy with a present in the form of a picture of Christ and a Finnish CTR ring (aka, a VO ring), and it wasn't until we were nearly done with our 20-minute car ride that she turned to us and asked, "Um, aren't we going to the church?" We explained that we had to stop at our RS president's house for a bit. She was still a bit confused when we told her to put on her white dress and head outside with us. As we passed the swimming pool on the bottom floor of the apartment complex, I asked, "So, want to get baptized in this pool?" "Okay!" Sisar N continued, "Or how about in that lake?" "What? REALLY?? Is this the spot?" None of us could keep from smiling. We took photos and folded programs as people started to arrive. It was a good turn-out, considering the semi-remote location. We gathered at the shore, sang, prayed, and I gave a short talk about how small and simple things have led us to this great moment. Hard not to cry. Gabe took her hand and lead her into the water. He recited the baptismal prayer in perfect English (He'd been practicing nervously all morning) and then Joy was baptized! She said that she felt like a princess, a new person, completely clean! We went to the church to finish things up, and have a makeshift barbecue (plus s'mores!) with the one-use grills we found for a couple euros each at the grocery store. A recently reactivated member who just moved back to the area introduced her 10-year old daughter as our newest investigator. Everything was perfect. 

And then yesterday, Joy was confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and received the Gift of the Holy Ghost. "I was smiling up there. Did you see?" she asked me as she sat back down after the ordinance was completed. Once again, everyone was all smiles. How could we not be? Her blessing as she sat in that chair in the front of the chapel was beautiful, and fit just for her. She is truly an elect daughter of God, who was lead to us for this very reason.

Words cannot express the joy I have felt these past few days. There are people out there that DO want this in their lives. There are people out there who hunger and thirst for truth and righteousness. Joy has been one of the greatest miracles of my mission- and I'm not just talking about Lappeenranta's newest member. I have been blessed with "joy as exceeding as (has been) my pain" while in Finland. I have been blessed with reasons to rejoice, to praise the Lord for His goodness. I never thought that these things could happen to me, and it's still a bit surreal at times. I pray that I will continue to see miracles over the next 6 months that will reconfirm the joy that I've felt over the past few days.

Bonus- I got a letter this morning from an unknown sender. I opened the envelope to see a beautiful card, and inside was a note from my favorite member in Lahti! She helped us whenever she possibly could, and Sisar Dayton and I sang her praises daily. Although I was only there for a very brief time, this sisar was thinking of me, and wanted to send me love. This is another one of the joys of missionary work. :) 

We will face new challenges and opportunities this week. A baptism is not the end, or an opportunity to rest and congratulate ourselves. It is part of our work here, a work that must continue. We need to find new people to follow in Joy's footsteps and find their own joy of the gospel. Please, please find a way this week, even in a small and simple form, to share the joy that you feel from your relationship with Heavenly Father and with the Savior. Help make this world a place with a little less despair, and a little more joy.

Rakkaudella, 

Maailman iloisin  [the world's happiest]   Sisar Hansen

In front of a big Catholic church in downtown Helsinki, waiting for our train

My nasty huge bug bite. A bit hard to see in this photo. Suffice it to say, it was huge.

Waiting for the big moment with Joy! She's glowing!

Opposition

Before I write a blog post email, I almost always have a very clear idea of what themes might arise, and what the title of the entry should be. After some big experiences lately, I've decided that this week will be about opposition.

The bad news part first: We are within a week of Joy's baptism, which means that this is the time when Satan is hardest at work on our dear friend. It's almost a cliche that the week before a baptism is a dangerous one, and something ALWAYS goes wrong at some point. Yesterday we got a phone call from Joy, which was alarming in itself, since she always texts us. We caught the first available bus and met her by the university, and walked around the lake shore to talk through some things. That morning she'd been at church, eager as ever, wearing one of the new skirts we helped her pick out at our thrift store outing last P-day. She looked good- not just her outfit, but her entire countenance. Later that afternoon, she had a very upsetting personal experience that made her question her decision to be baptized this Saturday. She said that she'd first thought to just leave all of this behind, but then she couldn't lie to herself and say that she hasn't seen miracles and become a better person since learning about the church. She then told us about her idea to postpone her baptism until things got a little bit better. As missionaries, we know that this just gives Satan more opportunities to do his thing, and we were holding our breath waiting for a definitive answer on this weekend's goings on. We listened, talked, cried, shared scriptures, and finally knelt together on the ground to offer a prayer of thanks and of pleading for strength. As always, Joy found her answer almost immediately after the prayer, and when we sat back down at our bench, the first thing she said was, "The baptism is still ON!" YAY, good news part!!! She shared with us some other very personal thoughts, feelings, and oddly miraculous experiences that have strengthened her determination to be baptized and confirmed this coming weekend. She is one of the strongest people I know. Many people would run away, abandon all of this, make excuses, justify keeping the Book of Mormon around in their lives and just not being baptized, any number of things. But not Joy. She amazes us every single time we meet with her, no exceptions. My mom sometimes tells me that she'd tell me how much she loves me, but she doesn't yet speak the perfect Adamic language of heaven. I feel the same way about Joy.

We got another phone call earlier in the week from our dear friend, Brigitte. She's had bad health for a while now, but has lately felt lonely and discouraged on top of it all. She told us that we needed to call before our scheduled visit the next day, because she might be in the hospital. When the time came we called, and found out that she was indeed at the hospital, receiving care for her sick legs. We re-programmed our schedule and got off the bus at the hospital, and spent almost half and hour looking for her! Finnish hospitals are not like ones in America- You can pretty much just walk in, and walk all around, getting lost, and nobody will say anything. Turns out, we entered the building at exactly the opposite spot from where we should have been, but all was well, and we finally found our friend. She was so excited to see us! "I told you to call, and you did! I told you that you could come, and now you're here!" Anything for Brigitte.

Opposition on the mission isn't just about rejection or language barriers. People often give a general, "It's hard, but worth it" when asked about missionary difficulties. Opposition can also include not receiving revelation at the rate you'd like, feeling like the list of demands placed in front of you is too lengthy to be possible, exhaustion and burn-out from the intense missionary schedule, Satan constantly at work trying to get you to mess up this sacred time, temptations to look a little too long at the worldliness around you, agency of others, losing focus, fears of an unknown post-mission future, not always seeing the results of hard work, weather, getting tired of the routine, waiting for miracles, wanting to be alone for just a day, disagreements with other missionaries and church members, and the list goes on. It's been said that many missionaries go through their own Gethsemane while on their mission. The experiences I've had here have often been difficult, and I've lost track of the times when I've just wished I could go home and be "normal" again. But just like Joy, I know that I can't deny the things I've felt throughout this process. I can't deny the feelings of the Holy Ghost piercing my soul as my bishop in Geneva asked me to reconsider missionary work. I can't forget that opening my mission call to see the words, "Finland Helsinki Mission" was one of the most profound spiritual experiences of my life. This mission has made me a better person than I thought I could be. I'm still me, but a more dedicated, hard-working, mature, and humble version of me. I've felt moments of intense joy with people who I didn't know a year ago, although who I now love dearly. I've seen miracles that I never would have thought possible. Sometimes I have to stop for a minute and think, "What did I do in my life to deserve being here in such a wonderful place with these amazing people? Why, of all people, did Heavenly Father choose ME to be here at this time, to be part of Hank's/Joy's/Brigitte's/Sisar Nyman's life journey?" At times it's still surreal to me that I'm even here in the first place, although my one-year mark looms ahead in the not-so-distant future. There are times when I have felt like my mission is a refiner's fire, my own personal Gethsemane that I must endure with faith and patience. And I think that there are periods on my mission that have been set aside for me for these very purposes. But as we learn in the Book of Mormon, there must be "opposition in all things", and as a balance to these times of opposition, I have been blessed beyond what I can say with an imperfect vocabulary. Joy, Hank, Sisar Nyman, Brigitte, Dave, President and Sisar Rawlings, and the long list of people I've met here during my time as a full-time missionary have all been worth it. I would do all of this just for each one of them. The thing about Gethsemane is, that it can be the best way to come closer to the Savior, and to feel just a glimmer of what He has felt for me, and for the world. I'm thankful for this time that I've had to dedicate to Him, and to come closer to being like Him in understanding, and in experience as I work to help others around me come to know Him as well.

This mission is hard, but worth it.

Rakkaudella,

Sisar Hansen